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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22568899">deception is not so easily recovered from</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/miseteshiningstar/pseuds/miseteshiningstar'>miseteshiningstar</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Everyone Needs A Hug, M/M, Mentions of Major Character Death, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Canon, Simulation AU, Suicidal Thoughts, eventual saimota, its ok theyre not really dead, shuichi is in pain, telling dead people that they're not dead, who's tsumugi idk her</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 10:29:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,703</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22568899</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/miseteshiningstar/pseuds/miseteshiningstar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Would it really be okay for them to get out of here? The only three survivors in a fictional world… Was there even anything left for them out there?<br/>There was only one way to find out.<br/>Knowingly nodding to each other, Shuichi, Maki, and Himiko climb up the shattered walls of their dome. Keebo had believed there was a life for them outside of these walls, and his hopes weren’t about to be in vain.<br/>However, when they each get their heads out, the world goes black, and they wake in unfamiliar surroundings.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Momota Kaito/Saihara Shuichi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>72</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>uhhh this fic is gonna be kinda long?? i hope u like it!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Shuichi grabs at the air in front of him, pushing up the visor on his face. What is this on his head and why can’t he take it off? Why is he laying down? He was just climbing out together with Maki and Himiko, but where were they?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sits up, looking around at the circle of unmoving bodies around him. The others are wearing helmets on their heads that look almost exactly like the ones Miu made for them so long ago, and for a moment Shuichi wishes he was back in that room. Maybe he could’ve stopped it...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are we?” He recognizes that voice. He glances across the room at Himiko, wearing a helmet similar to his own, and then to Maki, who’s sitting up silently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he doesn’t know where they are… Or why they’re here… Everyone else here is dead! With Miu to his right and Kaito to his left--both unmoving--both dead--he can’t make any sense of it. Why does everyone look so peaceful? They’re dead! Why are their bodies still here?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Only one body is missing; Tsumugi. It shouldn’t come as any surprise that she isn’t here, but why? Why is she the only one?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi tries to move, to get out of this room full of the shells of his dead friends, to make some sense of this on his own, but he’s stuck in place. Wires hold the helmet connected to his head in place while needles stick into his veins in both arms. He follows the tubes protruding from his arms to bags hanging nearby. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Is this an IV? </span>
  </em>
  <span>The liquid slowly dripping isn’t exactly clear, but he can’t pinpoint a specific color. Had they died and this was just a large shared hospital room? That wasn’t likely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A large door in the wall to Shuichi’s left opens a moment later and a man walks in, with messy brown hair and carrying a clipboard. He stops in the doorway when he notices the three sitting up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, so the three of you </span>
  <em>
    <span>did </span>
  </em>
  <span>log out successfully…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...Log out?” Shuichi asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s… complicated. Would you mind coming with me? It would be safer for everyone if we left this room.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why should we? Who are you?” Maki questions. She’s clearly more suspicious of him than Shuichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, that’s right. You don’t remember when we were introduced. My name is Makoto Naegi, and I’ve been watching over you all this time.” He begins to make his way over to Shuichi, quickly pushing buttons on the monitor behind his… bed? Cot? “Hold your head still.” He says calmly, before disconnecting the wires on the back of Shuichi’s head and gently removing the helmet, setting it behind him. He then silently pulls the IV(?) needles from Shuichi’s arms, and Shuichi nearly gags at the sight. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I didn’t need to see how long the needles were…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Makoto leaves to do the same for Maki and Himiko, and Shuichi can’t help but think he’s heard that name before. Was he someone from before they were thrown in there? Did he do their auditions? </span>
  <em>
    <span>What if he’s the mastermind?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He finishes quickly and gestures for the three to follow him, and they do as they’re told without complaint. He leads them quietly through a dimly lit hallway and into a small office. From the looks of it it reminds Shuichi more of a funeral parlor than anything. After closing the door behind them, he sits at the desk and tells them to pull up chairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Makoto sighs. “I’m sure you’re all confused, but I promise I’ll explain it all. I saw what happened in there. It wasn’t supposed to go this way…” He grimaces. “I want to apologize to you for what you had to endure… We tried to do the same for another group and it nearly went horribly wrong… So we brought the sixteen of you here but someone resisted and now we have this disaster. I know you all know who, and I just want you all to know that she was lying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you talking about?” Maki asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not really making any sense…” Himiko admits.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“To put it lightly… You were… in a simulation of sorts.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The three look at him with blanched faces and he continues. “What you saw in there, in that school… None of it was real. The ‘audience’, the ‘killing game’, ‘Dangan Ronpa’, the memories you got from Flashback Lights… It’s not real. The only ‘true’ memory you remembered while in the simulation was your desire to die beforehand. There is no ‘end of the world’ right now. We’re in a state of recovery.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He continues while they listen on in stunned silence. “And it may come as a shock, because you saw it all happen, but… none of your friends are truly dead. They’re only… asleep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi suddenly gasps. “No one’s dead?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Makoto nods. “Only their avatars died. Each of you were put in comatose-like states so that you couldn’t accidentally wake up and be logged out, potentially killing your brain from the shock. The others will stay in those states until we can figure out a way to wake them up without shocking them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why can’t you just wake them up now?” Himiko asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It might kill them. Their brain thinks they’ve died and so do they. If we wake them up; removing them forcibly from the simulation, their brain thinking they’ve died will pass on to their still-living bodies and kill them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then what can we do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Our best bet would be to speak with them within the simulation without overloading them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maki isn’t convinced. “But aren’t they dead in there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They are, but…” Makoto stops for a moment. “Right now they believe that everything they’re experiencing is real, like you all did before Tsumugi falsely told you that you’re in a fake world.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But that still leaves opportunities. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“Um… Can I make a suggestion?” Shuichi asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is there a way to talk to them in the simulation like we did with Gonta before?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Makoto nods, but then tilts his head. “We could temporarily load their consciousness, but not their bodies.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But we can still talk to them?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In theory, yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then… What if we told them they survived?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Makoto eyes him, considering the idea. “What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He isn’t certain on his idea, but it was worth a shot, right? Shuichi continues. “Well… If their bodies are still alive and their consciousness is still in the simulator, and all we have to do is get them to believe they’re actually alive and log them out calmly… What if we convince them that they didn’t really die? It wouldn’t really be a lie…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You might be on to something there…” Makoto takes a notepad out of the desk drawer and starts to write. “We could have you three speak to them… You would have to speak directly to them from the control panel back in the main room, but it might work.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can really talk to them?” Himiko starts to cheer up. “I might be able to apologize to Tenko…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I don’t think that’s the best idea. No matter what you say, you can’t tell them that you three survived, or that anyone else died. If they ask about anyone, tell them they’re alive. You can’t let them believe anyone actually died.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“And then what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can force their logout. As long as their brain believes that they’re alive, it could work. I can’t guarantee how long it’ll take for them to wake up afterwards, though. It’ll just depend on their willingness to get out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi nods. “Is that why we all woke up so fast?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Exactly. You all wanted to get out as soon as possible, and that’s why you woke up so quickly. Now this might work, but you have to be careful with it. These are your friends’ lives you’ll be dealing with.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Himiko shifts, visibly nervous. “I don’t think I can do it…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maki turns to Shuichi. “Shuichi, do you think you can do it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You too, Maki?” </span>
  <em>
    <span>You really overestimate me...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everyone always listened to you in the trials… Maybe they’ll be willing to listen again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you think I can do it…?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nods. “Out of the three of us, yes. And it was your idea.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Okay…” Shuichi only agrees in spite of himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll speak for the three of you?” Makoto asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess so…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright.” Makoto stands with his notepad and clipboard, and smiles at the group for the first time. “There might be hope here. Thank you, Shuichi.” He starts to walk to the door, but stops himself. “Ah, I’ll be back, I just need to go over this with the others. If you’d like, you can take a minute to relax in our rec room about three doors down before we get started. I’m sure you all want to talk…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you," The three mumble together as Makoto leaves. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The silence that follows between them is awkward, but not stifling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Um," Himiko starts after a while, "Do you think it'll work? That we'll be able to see everyone again?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"In the best-case scenario, yes." Maki sighs. "But they </span>
  <em>
    <span>died. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Real or not, they stopped breathing. We can't--" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Maki…" Shuichi interjects. "Try thinking of it like this; if you play a video game and you die, do you die in real life? I'd like to think it's the same here, they're just a little bit more closely related." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're right… I'm sorry." Maki sighs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Maybe we should get some air?" Himiko suggests, getting up. It's obvious to Shuichi that she's nervous too. "Maybe the rec room has a fridge with someone's lunch in it… I've always wanted to see what kind of stuff people bring to work." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maki stretches in her seat. "And if it doesn't?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We'll just have to see, won't we?" Shuichi replies, trying to be more lighthearted. "And maybe, just maybe, we'll get to see the others again when this is all over." </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>What they didn't know, though, was that the events of the fifty-third killing game wouldn't be over with so easily. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Rantaro</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"No matter what you do, don't tell them that they're in a simulation." Makoto warns. "Only convince them that they're alive and I'll do the rest."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi looks down at the console in front of him, suddenly feeling nervous. "What if I can't convince them?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You should be able to. Just being able to talk to them should be enough to at least show them that they aren't dead. What you really need to do is give them a will to wake up. You can lie all you want as long as they want to wake up. We can correct everything later."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Okay... How do I start?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"We'll start with Rantaro, because he was the first one killed." Makoto leans over the console, clicking on a portrait of Rantaro and opening a new menu. Shuichi glances at if for a moment and sees the words "force log out", "reset", and a handful of icons he doesn't know the meaning of. "I have it set to him, so just press the mic button when you're ready."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"What do I say?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Start off with some form of a hello. Act like you're visiting him in the hospital." Makoto attempts to reassure him. "I'll be here to guide you if you're not sure what to do."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Alright..." Shuichi nervously presses the mic button and waits to hear the connector click, then starts talking. "Rantaro?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hm? Who is this? Shuichi?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi is more than a little bit surprised to hear his voice. It's been so long since they've spoken, he almost doesn't recognize it. "You're up, good."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"What? Why are you talking to me?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Because you're alive?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"There's no way..."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"But there is. We finally figured out your talent, and I think it's part of the reason you're still here."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"And it is?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You're the Ultimate Survivor. You survived the last killing game and chose to take part in this one."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"How did you find that out?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Um</span>
  </em>
  <span>... "We... saw it. In your lab."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You guys found my lab? Don't tell me it's behind that door in the library..."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It wasn't, but we found out what was back there too... There was a video that you recorded yourself in your lab that I guess you were meant to see but never got to." Shuichi looks at the picture of Rantaro on the monitor. There's no mistaking that it really was him in the video.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh. Then, why am I alive?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I want to say part of it is because of your talent, but I'm not sure yet... I'll have to tell you later."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Was I the only one killed? What about everyone else?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi looks to Makoto, who mouths the word 'lie.'</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yes... You were the only one, but it's okay! We all worked together to bring you back!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I feel like you're lying to me, Shuichi. I know what I felt was real. At first I thought I was safe when that ball landed next to me, but I wasn't. I remember the sound against my skull when I was hit, the pain that felt like my entire brain ruptured, I remember it making me lose control of my body and making me collapse. I died, Shuichi. I would hope a detective would be able to tell."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi starts to feel sick to his stomach halfway through his explanation. He's never been killed, much less have someone explain their own death to him... But he has to get him to believe he's alive. Of course the first one would be the hardest. "Have you ever watched the news or seen TV dramas where someone has something bad happen to them like a heart attack and their heart stops? And then they show a whole scene in the hospital where they manage to start their heart again? That's kind of what we did with you."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Wouldn't I be brain dead then from the lack of oxygen? Why can't I see? Why can't I move? Why can't I hear or feel myself breathing? Why am I only able to talk?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It's the sedative, I'm sorry. It's supposed to mimic sleep paralysis to keep you still in case you freaked out from waking up and finding out you were alive."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He can tell Rantaro isn't convinced. "Can I talk to the others?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hmm?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"If everyone else lived, and you weren't lying about any of them, can I talk to them?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oh no. Shuichi tries to think of a lie quickly. After all, everyone else </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> die. "There's only three of us here in the room right now, are you okay with just talking to us?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Why only three?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"The hospital doesn't allow more than three visitors at a time, so we've been taking turns every few hours to check on you."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh. Well, who's with you?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Maki and Himiko. They're probably not who you want to see, but--"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No, it's fine. If </span>
  <em>
    <span>Himiko</span>
  </em>
  <span> and the </span>
  <em>
    <span>child caregiver</span>
  </em>
  <span> are still alive, then I'll have to believe you."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh yeah, he never found out about her actual talent</span>
  </em>
  <span>. "Really? Why them?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"They always seemed weak to me. Or maybe that's just because I didn't get to know them well... If you told me you had people like Gonta and Tenko with you, I don't think I'd believe you."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Because they're strong?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Exactly."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>One of them was murdered and the other was executed...</span>
  </em>
  <span> "Well, you're in luck then... Neither one of them are supposed to come soon."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Really? Who do I get to 'see' next?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi glances at the list in front of him. "Kaede, Ryoma, and Kirumi." He wasn't entirely lying...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"That's an odd group. Did they help after I died?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"They did... Kaede helped us clean up the scene... Ryoma helped tell us what to do and Kirumi's been changing your clothes for you every now and then when she comes in."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Huh.  Well, at least everyone knows my talent and doesn't hate me for it."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Nobody would hate you for that, we found out who the mastermind was and it </span>
  <em>
    <span>wasn't</span>
  </em>
  <span> you, so you're okay."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Who was it?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe this will make him more willing to wake up...</span>
  </em>
  <span> "I'll tell you when the sedative wears off."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Why? Are you messing with me?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You might overthink it if I tell you now because we can't talk in depth like you'd want to. Plus I'd rather have everyone in the room with us."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I see. Fine. I'll wait."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Thank you! And when you've recovered fully we'll all fill you in on what happened."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Okay."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi considers saying something else, but turns off the mic instead. Hopefully that was good enough.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Makoto nods. "You did well. He thinks he's alive, so I'll log him out and see what happens." He takes over on the console for a moment and smiles. "It's just a matter of time now."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Are you sure he'll be okay? He won't really die from this?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"He should be fine."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi sighs audibly, relieved.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Would you like to talk to Kaede now, or do you want to take a break first?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wants to get this over with as fast as possible, and it's the least he can do for her... "I can talk to her now... The sooner the better."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Okay." Shuichi watches Makoto navigate to Kaede's profile and turn his mic connection back on. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>One down, eleven more to go...</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Kaede</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey, Kaede…” Shuichi almost cringes waiting on the response from her. It’s been so long…</p><p>“Shuichi?” The surprise in her voice almost unnerves him.</p><p>But, this isn’t the time to think about the past, and it hurts to lie more, but he has to. Faking happiness and trying to get this over with quickly, “Oh good! You woke up!”</p><p>“I’m awake? I can’t see… I thought I was--”</p><p>“You’re not!” <em> Please don’t say that word. </em></p><p>“But I felt--”</p><p>“That was part of the act.”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>Shuichi grimaces, having to drag up the memories from only a few hours ago that he was already trying to bury. “You remember how we wanted to catch the mastermind, right?”</p><p>“And I killed Rantaro hoping it was him…”</p><p>“We all thought that too…”</p><p>There’s a twinge of hope to her voice. “What does that mean?”</p><p> “You didn’t actually kill him. You were framed! The mastermind was the one who did it!”</p><p>“But I got executed…”</p><p>“That’s what everyone was made to think… And what we all thought… But that’s not what happened.”</p><p>“Then what happened?”</p><p><em> Here goes nothing. </em>“Your execution was faked! The mastermind didn’t want to kill all of us at once and end the game there, and they found out about your plan, so they made sure it succeeded. It wasn’t your shot put ball that killed him. They did it! They staged it so it looked like you were the killer and had you executed to take the blame off of them! But you didn’t really die, we found out it was fake and saved both of you!” He can’t stop the anger that comes out in his words.</p><p>“Wait, I’m innocent…?”</p><p>“Yes! That’s why you’re alive right now! You’re breathing and speaking! After we figured out you weren’t really dead we… tried our hardest to bring Rantaro back too and escape…”</p><p>“He isn’t dead either? But I saw him--”</p><p>“He was dead <em> at the time </em> , but Ryoma helped us out a lot with him.” <em> If I’m going to lie to everyone, I may as well be consistent. </em>“We found out who the mastermind was too…”</p><p>“You found out who it was?! Who? Please don’t tell me it was Ouma...”</p><p>“It wasn’t him, thankfully. He actually… really helped us out in the end… But I promise I’ll tell you who it is when you recover.”</p><p>“Recover?”</p><p>“It took a while to bring you back but your vitals are good now! You had to be sedated though and that’s why you can’t move or see, but we’re all waiting on you and Rantaro!”</p><p>“You’re all waiting for us?”</p><p>“Yup! We’re all taking turns visiting you in your rooms in the meantime.”</p><p>“Were we the only ones to die?”</p><p>Shuichi cringes. “Yes, but you don’t need to phrase it like that anymore… No one’s dead, and we’re all out! We can all be friends just like you wanted us to.”</p><p>“That’s great! I can’t wait… I hope I get better soon.”</p><p>“Me too… You’d better work on recovering fast, okay?”</p><p>“I will!”</p><p>“Thank you… I’ll be back to check on you again after you get some more rest and I tell the others...” Even though there are no <em> others </em> to tell.</p><p> </p><p>Shuichi shuts the mic off and lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding as Makoto quickly moves to log Kaede out, patting Shuichi on his back.</p><p>“You did a good job here too. She might even wake up sooner.”</p><p>“I’m glad…”</p><p>Makoto records the event on his notepad. “Maybe you should take a break for the night.” </p><p>“For the night?”</p><p>“It’s three in the morning.”</p><p>“Huh?!” Shuichi hadn’t even bothered to ask what time it was ever since waking up… Wasn’t the trial just at dawn? Has it been a full day already?</p><p>“We do have rooms you can stay in if you want to--”</p><p>“Can we sleep in here?”</p><p>“Why would you want to sleep here?” </p><p>“What if someone wakes up? I wouldn’t want to leave them… Especially after completely lying to them…”</p><p>Makoto nods in understanding, giving in easily. <em> Maybe he’s been through something like this before too... </em> “I suppose you can stay here and sleep on the same cots as before… Just don’t try to enter the simulation again, okay? I’ll bring breakfast by in the morning and we’ll get started again.”</p><p>“Thank you…”</p><p>“You’re welcome.” Makoto smiles gently and leaves the three alone once again.</p><p>For the first time since returning to this room, Maki speaks. “You know, you weren’t too bad at convincing those two. You almost reminded me of Ouma.”</p><p>“I kind of wish he were here instead of me… He could convince them they were alive so easily… Or at least confuse them so badly they’d be convinced.”</p><p>“But everyone trusts <em> you </em>!” Himiko blurts out. “You got us through the trials every time, so why shouldn’t they believe you? There’s no reason they would think you were trying to mislead them.”</p><p>Shuichi makes an attempt at smiling, knowing she’s only trying to help. “I guess so… Maybe they’ll all wake up soon.”</p><p>The other two nod at him, taking the cue to go ahead and go to their cots. They all needed to think about this on their own…</p><p> </p><p>When Shuichi lays down, he can’t bring himself to face any direction except for straight up, staring at the ceiling. He doubts he could face Miu or Kaito right now… </p><p>He failed them. He should’ve told everyone not to go into that game… His gut screamed not to let them go, but he ignored it out of the hope that maybe just this once they would be safe. But he was wrong.</p><p> </p><p>If only… if only he would’ve just <em> told </em> Shuichi what was going on. He might’ve been able to stop it… He could’ve helped them… Why did he have to agree to that stupid stunt?! Thanks to that plan, <em> his </em>stupid sense of needing to save others from themselves, to get everyone else out of there, Shuichi was now left with a hole inside him that can’t be fixed...</p><p> </p><p>They may not really be dead, but the feeling that they <em> could </em>be, and that he only got lucky with Rantaro and Kaede, lingers. What if this was still a part of the game… They would bring everyone back only to lose them again… </p><p> </p><p>...Repeating over and over again until Shuichi stops himself for good.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i'm sorry this chapter is kinda short! some of the characters are gonna be easier to convince than others and some are hard to write</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Ryoma</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After waking up, Shuichi is given the chance to eat breakfast with Maki, Himiko, and Makoto and relax for a moment before he forces himself to sit in front of the console once again. This was his life for the time being, and he was adapting quickly. After all, he didn’t have any other options except try to get this over as quickly and painlessly as possible.</p><p>However, his behavior was concerning to the one person who’s aware of more than he’s willing to let on. Makoto taps Shuichi on the shoulder, concern laced in his voice. “You know we don’t have to do this today if you don’t want to, Shuichi. I know it’s hard having to lie to your friends whose lives were all cut short...”</p><p>“No, it’s… it’s fine.” He replies, and it doesn’t take much for Makoto to see that their situation is weighing heavily on his mind. “It’s the least I can do for them. They’ve all waited so long and all they have to do is talk to me to be able to come back. I don’t want to make them wait any longer.”</p><p>“Shuichi…” Maki says softly. “Nobody was forced to do what they did. It’s not your fault they’re--”</p><p>“You’re wrong.” Saying those words almost makes Shuichi want to fold in on himself. “...Kaede… and Kaito… They were… forced…”</p><p>He immediately sees the regret on Maki’s face and knows he made things worse by interrupting her. He should’ve just kept his mouth shut and kept it to himself…</p><p>“I’m sorry, Maki… I know it… bothers you too.”</p><p>“It’s alright… It’s not your fault.” She shakes her head, trying to dismiss it. “...Is there something we can do to help you with Ryoma?”</p><p>Shuichi knows she’s only trying to help… “Um, you guys just being here with me is enough… But Ryoma might be a little bit harder, so if he starts to drift away do you think you could talk to him too?”</p><p>The two girls nod.</p><p>“It… did happen during my show, so I kind of feel responsible for what happened to him. I’ll talk to him if you want me to!”</p><p>He doesn’t have the heart to correct Himiko, but her enthusiasm and help is greatly appreciated. “Okay… I’ll try talking to him now.”</p><p> </p><p>Makoto opens Ryoma’s profile, just like he did with the others, and connects Shuichi to him while Maki and Himiko stand behind him for support.</p><p>Shuichi glances across the room at Ryoma’s unmoving body before speaking. If you died with no reason to live and were given a second chance at life, would you take it despite that? Shuichi knows this is going to be difficult.</p><p>“Hey, Ryoma.”</p><p>“Hm? Oh, Shuichi. What do you want with me?”</p><p>“For you to recover.”</p><p>“Recover?”</p><p>“You know, from drowning?”</p><p>“Oh.” Ryoma pauses for a moment. “Guess you found my body, huh? Look, don’t blame Kirumi for what she did. She had to do it.”</p><p>“We know… She told us everything. Nobody’s holding anything against her for it.”</p><p>“Good. There’s no need to get so worked up over the death of someone like me, anyway.”</p><p><em> I know your regard for your own life is low, but I didn’t know it was that low… </em>“The others would disagree with you. But, I think you might be happy to hear this.”</p><p>“Hmm?”</p><p>“Kirumi escaped her execution.”</p><p>“That’s good to hear. And everyone else?”</p><p>“Escaped with her. Including Rantaro, Kaede, and you.”</p><p>Ryoma goes silent.</p><p>“Everyone got out, and here I am talking to you because of it.”</p><p>“That doesn’t make any sense. Those two died. We all failed the tunnel.”</p><p>“I didn’t say we got out through the tunnel.”</p><p>“Then how?”</p><p>“We exposed the mastermind and they were forced to help us bring all of you back and get out.”</p><p>“You can’t revive the dead. Someone like me… would know that.”</p><p>Shuichi can almost see Ryoma pulling on his hat as he speaks. “We weren’t under normal circumstances. It’s perfectly possible. Why do you think you’re talking to me right now?”</p><p>“I figured this was God’s way of messing with me for my sins.”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“I’ve done so much wrong in my life that this would be expected. For God to make me atone by giving me hope that I survived, when in reality I was six feet under with the rest of you.”</p><p><em> Hope? </em>“Ryoma, are you hoping you’re alive?”</p><p>“Not necessarily.”</p><p>“Well, were you at least hoping you could come back to the rest of us?”</p><p>“You all weren’t so bad from what I could see… But you probably wouldn’t want to be around someone like me.”</p><p>“We would!” Shuichi takes the opportunity to steer the conversation the right way. “That’s why we all worked to bring you back! We all want to be friends, and that includes you!”</p><p>“I don’t know…”</p><p>“Wh-what about your cat? I’m sure he wants to see you again.”</p><p>“How did you know about him?!”</p><p>“Um, Kaede told me after we saved you. She said she hoped she might be able to pet it, too.” That was a lie, but maybe it’d work?</p><p>“Hmph. I doubt he wants to see me after what I’ve done.”</p><p>“Ryoma, he doesn’t know. He’s not a human that can just ask about everything you’ve ever done… And even if you’re not trying to recover for your cat, or because you could be friends with everyone judgement-free, maybe you could try in the hopes that you could play tennis again?”</p><p>“I left that behind long ago.”</p><p>“No you didn’t! I saw the look in your eyes when we played! I could tell you still wanted to play. Your past doesn’t mean you have to give up on what you love doing!”</p><p>“You’re persistent, aren’t you?”</p><p>“Only for good reason.”</p><p>“... I’ll think about it.”</p><p>“You will?”</p><p>“Yes, but don’t get your hopes up or anything. I bet the others are a higher priority right now.”</p><p>Shuichi sighs. <em> There he goes again… </em>“Would you believe me if I told you we’re all alternating between your rooms? You’re all of equal priority to us.” </p><p>“I have a hard time believing that.”</p><p>Shuichi turns and gives a nod to Maki and Himiko, who nod in return. “Right now, Maki, Himiko, and I are here.”</p><p>“Why haven’t they spoken?”</p><p>“They wanted to give me a chance to speak first before they started to.”</p><p>“Oh. Well… Can I talk to them?”</p><p>“Sure!” Shuichi quickly gets out of his seat and Himiko takes his place.</p><p>“H-hi Ryoma. I’m glad you’re awake!” She says, a bit too loudly.</p><p>“Hello, Himiko. I’m sorry to be taking up your time like this.”</p><p>“It’s alright! We’re all spending our time making sure you guys are doing well anyway.”</p><p>“Ah. Didn’t you have a magic show set up? I apologize if I ruined it.”</p><p>Himiko looks up to Shuichi, unsure whether or not she should tell him, and he shakes his head. “Y-you didn’t! It went really well… Everyone had fun! Until we found your body… Then we had to have the trial, b-but it all worked out!</p><p>“Good… You know, my only hope is that this isn’t truly a punishment for my sins.”</p><p>“Um, if it is, I’ll use my magic to make sure it stops and you come back!”</p><p>“Huh. Thank you, Himiko. Maybe that’ll be what I need to get me out of here.”</p><p>“Really? I’ll watch over you to make sure you get better the fastest so you can be the first to talk to the others when they wake up!”</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>“Y-you’re welcome! Do you want to talk to Shuichi again?”</p><p>“No, I’ll leave you all alone for a while. I need to think.”</p><p>“Will you at least try to put your mind to recovering when you finish? For us?”</p><p>“I’ll think about it. But, thank you.”</p><p>“You’re welcome!” She leans away from the mic to whisper, “Can I cut it off now?” to which Makoto responds by disconnecting and logging Ryoma out.</p><p>“I like what you did there,” He says, smiling fondly at the group. “Working together like this could mean they wake up sooner.”</p><p>“Really?” Himiko asks. “It’s helping?”</p><p>“I think it gives them more hope that way. But, it’s completely up to you if you want to all speak to them.”</p><p>“I guess it would depend more on who we’re talking to.” Maki mentions, and Makoto nods.</p><p>“For now though, you can take a break if you want to. Next is Kirumi, and I don’t know if you want to think about what you’ll say to her or not.”</p><p>“A break would be nice, but I w--” Shuichi starts, but he’s interrupted.</p><p>Maki speaks fondly. “Do you want to die? You should take a break before I force you to.”</p><p>Shuichi <em> would </em> feel genuinely threatened by that had he heard it from her a week ago, but this time he can tell she means it well. “Okay… I could use something to drink right now, anyway…”</p><p>“Good.” Maki smiles, and once again, the three head to the break room.</p><p>Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i didn't really like ryoma until after i finished the game.... pls give him hugs he deserves it</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Kirumi</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>With no idea how to talk to Kirumi, or what he should say, Shuichi finds himself procrastinating.</p><p>He didn't get to know her before her execution and rarely spoke to her before that... Kaede was the one who did all of the talking to her... But it wouldn't be fair to skip over her, and to be frank, he doesn't know how to talk to Angie either...</p><p>So Maki volunteers to do the talking for him.</p><p>"You?" He asks, surprised.</p><p>"We both had to do similar things for the people around us, and she had to kill for an order as well. I think I'd understand her better."</p><p>"Are you sure you can do it?"</p><p>Regret instantly hits Shuichi for asking. <em>She's killed people. Of course she can handle convincing someone that they're alive.</em></p><p>"Sorry. I'm sure you can."</p><p>Maki sighs, slightly irritated. "I'll go along with your story, alright? You don't need to worry. You can go lay down if you want to."</p><p>"Thank you."</p><p>Maki takes a seat in front of the console with Makoto and Himiko while Shuichi takes a break to lay down in his cot, glad someone else has the responsibility for a while.</p><p>"Kirumi, hello."</p><p>He trusts Maki, so he's sure everything will be fine. There's no reason for her to do any wrong, right? He tunes out of the conversation, instead focusing on the ceiling and his breathing. There's something oddly personal about listening to them... Is this how Maki, Himiko, and Makoto feel listening to him? Hopefully not.</p><p>However, listening to them might be helpful, just in case something happens and he needs to help.</p><p>"I could fulfill my duty if I recover?"</p><p>
  <em>She's going straight for the motive videos? </em>
</p><p>"We're all trying to help you just for that. We want what's best for everyone, and we only realized how important that was to you after your execution... We rushed in to try and save you before it was too late."</p><p>"Is that why I'm speaking to you right now?"</p><p>"Exactly. When we got to you we noticed there was only one person who didn't think to come along."</p><p>"Were they the mastermind you all spoke of?"</p><p>Shuichi sits up suddenly in alarm. <em>Please don't say who it is!</em></p><p>He only gets a passing glance from Maki, who continues. "Yes. After they threw a fit over you 'needing to stay dead to further our despair', it was obvious who they were."</p><p>"Ah. What occurred after that?"</p><p>"I killed them."</p><p><em>Huh?! </em>Shuichi nearly gasps aloud.</p><p>But Kirumi sounds unfazed. "I see... Did that have the results you desired?"</p><p>"We were able to escape and found the bodies of the three previous victims as well after exposing the mastermind. We brought all of you to a hospital and attempted to revive you all... but so far you're the only one who's woken up."</p><p>"But Ryoma...? All that remained of him was a skeleton due to my actions..."</p><p>"That was a dummy body. His real body was switched out and hidden with the others, who had some... abnormalities as well."</p><p>"Meaning?"</p><p>"Rantaro's hidden talent helped him survive, and Kaede's execution was faked."</p><p>"Why is that?"</p><p>"The mastermind was the one that 'killed' him so they wouldn't have to kill all of us. They made sure Kaede's plan succeeded, even though it didn't."</p><p>"Ah... So the rest of you are doing well, hopefully?"</p><p>"Between having to rotate groups with the four of you and Ouma constantly causing trouble with the hospital staff, we're all a bit tired."</p><p>
  <em>She's better at this than me...</em>
</p><p>"I'll be certain to reprimand him when I recover."</p><p>"Please do. He's difficult to catch at times and we don't have enough spare time to mess with him."</p><p>"Alright. With my duties as the Ultimate Maid, I'll attempt my best at a quick recovery for everyone."</p><p>"You don't need to push yourself. You can rest more if you'd like."</p><p>"No, no, enough time has passed between now and then that I feel you all need my aid to an extent."</p><p>"Ah, thank you, Kirumi. I'll let you rest while I let the others know about your condition."</p><p>"Thank you."</p><p>Maki takes a moment before she relaxes in her seat. "So, how'd I do?"</p><p>"You did better than I would've." Shuichi laughs lightly. "I think it went faster this time too. Thank you for talking to her for me... I had no idea what I was going to say."</p><p>"You're welcome. I'm not sure I want to speak to Angie for you, though."</p><p>"I can!" Himiko interjects. "If you want me to, anyway... At least I got to know her a bit before she... You know."</p><p>"I think I'll try talking to her first, but thank you, Himiko."</p><p>"Speaking of her, did you want to talk to her now?" Makoto asks. "It doesn't matter which of you does, as long as you keep a consistent story with them the whole time."</p><p>"Maybe in a few minutes? I have to think about what I want to say." What <em>was </em>Shuichi supposed to say to her? Something about her god? Is he able to reincarnate or revive people? Maybe he could convince her to believe he can...</p><p>Makoto nods, a small smile on his face. "I understand, she is a bit eccentric... And I do need to go drop off these notes. We can start when I get back if you like."</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>Makoto leaves, and shortly after, Maki stands.</p><p>"I see how draining this is for you." She admits. "To be honest, I was worried she would be too stubborn about it."</p><p>"Me too, honestly. But the change in responsibility was nice..." Shuichi looks down, but something is different about the room... Noticing movement out of the corner of his eye, he turns his full attention to it.</p><p>
  <em>Kaede?? </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i'm sorry if this chapter reads a bit wonky (and is pretty short)! i was kinda out of it while i was writing,,</p><p>instead of the next chapter being them talking to angie, it'll be about kaede and telling her the truth ( ´ ▽ ` )</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Kaede's Adjustment</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The girl in question sits up suddenly, grabbing at her throat and gasping. With the helmet on her head she can't see the other three, who are completely frozen in place.</p>
<p>But they have to do <em>something! </em></p>
<p>"H-M-H-Himiko! Go get Makoto!" Shuichi shouts in a panic, and Himiko runs out, nearly tripping over herself on the way.</p>
<p>Kaede's voice is hoarse, and her breathing is labored. "Shuichi? Is that you?"</p>
<p>"I-it's me! Hold on, we'll get that helmet off of you." Shuichi, along with Maki, run over to Kaede's side.</p>
<p>"Helmet?"</p>
<p>Shuichi, still in a panic, immediately tries to pull it off of Kaede, but Maki's hand stops him.</p>
<p>"Let me disconnect her first. Hold still." She starts by pulling out the cords and wires in the back before Shuichi takes the disconnected helmet off.</p>
<p>Kaede glances around nervously. "What... Where are we? This doesn't look like a hospital room..."</p>
<p>"Because it's not." Maki deadpans. "It's a long story, though..."</p>
<p>The door opens and Makoto rushes in with Himiko in tow.</p>
<p>"You're awake!" He rushes over to check Kaede's vitals. "And you two disconnected her properly.The only thing left to do is take out the IV."</p>
<p>"What's going on? Who are you?" Kaede asks.</p>
<p>"Oh. Ah, I'll tell you all about it soon. My name is Makoto Naegi and I'm essentially the one watching over all of you for now. Shuichi, Himiko, and Maki are trying to help with the rest of you."</p>
<p>"Help with what?" Kaede looks to Shuichi. "You told me you all were waiting for Rantaro and I to recover..."</p>
<p>"I lied."</p>
<p>"Huh?!"</p>
<p>"I had to lie or you wouldn't have wanted to wake up."</p>
<p>"What are you talking about?"</p>
<p>"Um, let's... not have this conversation here." Makoto interrupts. "We should at least leave the room. Can you stand? Are you in pain anywhere?"</p>
<p>"I can get up on my own." Kaede stands up from her spot, a bit wobbly at first. "But... Why can't we stay here?"</p>
<p>"You might not like what we have to tell you."</p>
<p>Makoto's words send a chill down Kaede's spine, and she finds herself following the group down the hall and into the cramped office out of fear that she's done something horribly wrong.</p>
<p>Sitting across from the group rather than <em>with </em>them doesn't make the situation any better.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"As you found out a few minutes ago," Makoto begins, "Shuichi had to lie to you. There was no ill intent behind it, but we had to trick you into believing you hadn't died in there and give you the motivation to want to wake up."</p>
<p>"How much of it was a lie?" She almost doesn't want to hear the answer.</p>
<p>"Everything." Shuichi audibly exhales. "We didn't all get out. You weren't in a hospital bed, or even a hospital in the first place. Nothing during the killing game even took place in reality."</p>
<p>"It wasn't real..? But it felt like it was..."</p>
<p>Makoto nods. "That was the point. To put it bluntly, you were all in a 'simulation.' It was intended to help you recover from the harm you were all subjected to, but the program was sabotaged."</p>
<p>That comes as news to the other four. </p>
<p>"What kind of harm are you talking about?" Maki asks.</p>
<p>"Do any of you remember the Ultimate Hunt that Rantaro mentioned? He was the only one to remember that, and he in all honesty wasn't supposed to."</p>
<p>Kaede doesn't recall anything about the event, but the reactions when it was announced during the game stuck with her. "What <em>was</em> it though? Or did you find that out later?"</p>
<p>"Does it have something to do with the group funeral we remembered? Or was that a lie too..." Shuichi asks, a hand to his chin.</p>
<p>"You're right. Not all of the things you remembered during the simulation were faked. Although it wasn't intentional for any of that to come to light, it's all true. The Ultimate Hunt occurred after the original slaughter of students at Hope's Peak Academy. During the first killing game... the rest of the Ultimates on the outside were hunted for sport."</p>
<p>"But those sixteen were the only ones who were left?"</p>
<p>"That was a lie told by the headmaster to try to protect the other Ultimates who chose to leave. But after he died, it was released that there were still Ultimates out there. And because records of everyone enrolled are so easy to access online, it wasn't hard to set up rewards for the heads of specific students. There were even hit lists set up."</p>
<p>"Were any of us on those lists?" Himiko asks, trembling.</p>
<p>"All of you were. Some were worth more than others, like Maki and Keebo, but you were all on some form of a list. It got to the point where we felt it was necessary to put a stop to this, so whenever we heard of a hit about to be completed on a specific Ultimate, we tried to get there first."</p>
<p>"Who's 'we'?" Kaede questions. "How do we know we can trust you in the first place?"</p>
<p>Makoto sighs before answering. "'We' are the Future Foundation. And I know it sounds a bit out there, but I myself happen to be an Ultimate."</p>
<p>"Huh? But you don't..." Shuichi immediately realizes that the only reason he didn't think Makoto was near his age was because of the imaginary status Shuichi applied to him. <em>Just because he's wearing a suit doesn't mean he's older... Wait. </em>"You're one of the original survivors, aren't you?! That's why we never got to see a list of who survived, because <em>you</em> were on it!"</p>
<p>"Well, to be honest, I didn't know it was going to be me who would be assigned to you all... But you're right. We kept the six of our names completely out of the simulation because we didn't want you to learn them and recognize us when you got out of it. We wanted to blur the killing game out of your memories."</p>
<p>Maki scoffs. "There were fifty-two before us, though. We were told th--"</p>
<p>"And you're believing everything that Tsumugi told you?" Makoto snaps, suddenly, but reels back quickly. "I'm sorry. But you should know that everything she said was to further her own ideals. There aren't fifty-three 'seasons', there is no Team DanganRonpa, and the sixteen of you <em>didn't </em>audition for anything." </p>
<p>If Makoto had said anything about this to any of the others, they wouldn't have a clue about what he was talking about. <em>Maybe that makes them luckier than us, </em>Shuichi thinks. <em>All they have to worry about is recovering from their deaths. Not... this mess. </em>"I'm sorry, but then... what were those videos we watched?"</p>
<p>Makoto treads lightly. "Which ones?"</p>
<p>"The ones taken of us before we were thrown into this mess. The one of Rantaro where he spoke to himself. The one where <em>I </em>said how much I liked the 'show'. The one where Kaede said she didn't have any faith in humanity, or the one where Kaito said he would kill everyone else?"</p>
<p>"Those were a last-ditch effort in case this simulation was sabotaged as well. We had you each memorize those lines and record them in case we had to admit that you were in a simulation, and we could use those videos as evidence for it. So, in a way, the story would have gone similar to Tsumugi's, but only to pull you back to reality and try a different method."</p>
<p>"Wait... Was Tsumugi the mastermind?" Kaede asks, and the others nod sadly. "Then everything she did in the trial to prove her innocence... It was a lie? She killed Rantaro?"</p>
<p>Shuichi grimaces. "Yeah... It was her. I'm so sorry I led everyone to believe you did it... I couldn't prove that it was her when she was clearly acting suspicious... and you..."</p>
<p>"It wasn't your fault, Shuichi. I know you didn't want to prove that it was me. But I forced you into it, and there's no one to blame but myself."</p>
<p>"Kaede..."</p>
<p>"And it's all okay now! We're all alive and I'm going to help you just like you did for me! All we have to do is get them to wake up, right? It can't be that hard. It's not like they died!"</p>
<p>"Kaede, if you want to be able to help, there's something you should know." Shuichi fidgets in his seat.</p>
<p>"What's that?"</p>
<p>"You and Rantaro weren't the only ones that died."</p>
<p>The statement immediately washes over her and she can only stare ahead blankly in shock. "Everyone else...?"</p>
<p>"Except for three of us." Shuichi ducks his head, wishing he had his hat to cover his face with.</p>
<p>"And that's you three... Is everyone else in that room dead...?"</p>
<p>Makoto answers for him. "They're believed to be, yes. But you were the same and you're here now, and Shuichi only spoke to you yesterday."</p>
<p>"Does that mean we can bring them all back after what happened to them?"</p>
<p>"In theory, yes. But it won't be easy. Some of the deaths... were gruesome."</p>
<p>Kaede looks to the others, none of them making eye contact. "Who... who killed who?"</p>
<p>"You really want to know?"</p>
<p>"I want to know. Maybe I can help them." She says strongly, moreso in an attempt to calm herself.</p>
<p>"I'll tell you." Shuichi exhales, and he has to force it out of himself. "Kirumi killed Ryoma... Kiyo killed Angie and Tenko..."</p>
<p>"He killed two?!"</p>
<p>"I promise they all had their reasons..." He says softly. "Kirumi had orders to get out of the game and Ryoma willingly gave his life for her cause."</p>
<p>"Was Ryoma really like that?"</p>
<p>Shuichi nods. "He let Kirumi kill him. He didn't have anything else to live for so it made him the easiest target... He did it for the lives of everyone on the outside. And... Kirumi was going to have us all believe she wasn't the killer so we would all be killed and she could escape to rebuild the country..."</p>
<p>"That's horrible!" Kaede exclaims, but Shuichi shakes his head. </p>
<p>"No, it was the best option. The lives of the few of us for the lives of everyone else."</p>
<p>"Well... What about Kiyo?"</p>
<p>"He wanted to bring friends to his deceased sister, and to him, the two of them were good choices in his eyes..."</p>
<p>"So he just killed the two of them."</p>
<p>"Yeah..."</p>
<p>Kaede puts a hand to her head, unable to understand his reasons. "What about the others?"</p>
<p>It takes Shuichi a minute longer to respond this time, and he swallows before speaking. "Gonta... killed Miu. And... Kaito... killed Ouma..."</p>
<p>"You're kidding." The disbelief on her face is apparent. "Are you sure it's not the other way around...?"</p>
<p>"No... It's the truth. Both of their deaths were mostly caused by Ouma, too..."</p>
<p>"But he died?"</p>
<p>"That was the point." Shuichi speaks in a blur. "He tricked Gonta into killing Miu to save him from her because she was plotting to kill Ouma... And then he forced Kaito to kill him to save Maki from being executed <em>and </em>to attempt to end the killing game..."</p>
<p>"Why? How did that happen?"</p>
<p>Shuichi feels a sickness well up within him, and with his shoulders trembling he admits, "I don't think I can get through that explanation."</p>
<p>Kaede wants to ask <em>why not</em>, but when she looks up at Maki and Himiko sitting across from her, at their sullen faces, she decides against it. How much had she missed...? "Shuichi, are you okay? Do you want me to talk to them instead of you?"</p>
<p>"No, I can do it... I'd rather talk to them... Excuse me..." Shuichi stands suddenly, quietly leaving the office and closing the door behind him with no protests from the others, who seem to understand.</p>
<p>"Did I do something wrong?" Kaede can't imagine that she did, but not being around for so long means not knowing topics to avoid...</p>
<p>"You didn't." Maki assures her. "Some of what happened in there was just... harder on Shuichi than others. It's not your fault."</p>
<p>"We tried to help him after the trial, but he didn't want to talk to us." Himiko murmurs. "It's not because we did anything wrong..."</p>
<p>"I'll see if I can go find him and talk to him." Makoto announces, standing up. "Can you two fill Kaede in on the rest of the details while I'm gone? I'll... tell you more about all of this later. Remember, we'll talk to Angie next when we're done with this."</p>
<p>The two nod, and Kaede tries to ignore her worries for a bit and listen to the events of the killing game.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Bathroom Venting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>shuichi "the pain in my heart is real!" saihara</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>did u forget this is also a saimota fic because i sure didn't<br/>very vague but very sad ok bye</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Thankfully, Makoto manages to find Shuichi quickly, hunched over a bathroom sink.</p>
<p>"Are you alright?" He asks, slowly approaching him. "You kind of worried the others when you ran out like that."</p>
<p>"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry anyone." Shuichi's tone is darker than normal, and it lets on more than he intends for it to.</p>
<p>"No, you're fine. They all understand. But, are you alright? I know this is really hard on you."</p>
<p>Glancing up at Makoto through the mirror, Shuichi angrily replies, "You say you know how I feel, but do you? You weren't the one who had to solve all of these murders and be the deciding factor in the vote to condemn the people you love! You don't know how many times I was hoping I was wrong."</p>
<p>Makoto steps back due to his outburst, but tries to calm him down. "I'm sorry, Shuichi, but that's what happens in these situations. That's as blunt as I can put it..."</p>
<p>Shuichi turns around to face him. "How can you say that? I could've told everyone not to vote at all, or not even try to figure out who did it, or decide to refuse to participate in this game, but I didn't. I didn't do any of that. I didn't even try. There's blood on my hands. I didn't ask for any of this." Shuichi starts to cry silently, and Makoto can only watch.</p>
<p>"I get it, I really do. I was in the exact same position as you were back then... But they're not really dead, Shuichi. There's no blood on your hands. It was them who decided to go through with this..." He pauses for a moment, unsure if he should go on. "You would <em>all </em>be dead right now if you hadn't found out who the killers were. You didn't have a choice. But now it's still up to you if you want to bring them all back."</p>
<p>"I want to. But there's so much that can go wrong... There's only so much I can do and there's so many of them... How am I supposed to convince half of them that they're alive? They died so horribly..."</p>
<p>"But <em>you </em>know they're alive. Their bodies aren't scattered across the school grounds, and they don't have any of the wounds they got during the simulation. They aren't moving, but you can see them breathing, can't you?"</p>
<p>Tears continue to stream down Shuichi's face as he speaks. "Yes, but I can't... I can't process that it's the truth... I saw their corpses... Still and cold... And up until a day or so ago I thought it was real. You're the only reason I have to think any different..." He leans against the wall and weakly sinks down, his head hanging down above his knees. "There's no reason for me to have survived."</p>
<p>"Shuichi, don't say that." Makoto kneels down to be eye-level with Shuichi. "Just because none of the motives applied to you and you weren't targeted for murder doesn't mean there's no reason for you to be here."</p>
<p>"Is there? Because I can think of at least four better people that should've lived instead." Shuichi laughs weakly. "They were right, I should've died instead of her."</p>
<p>Makoto knows what he's referring to. The comments the 'audience' had made.</p>
<p>"Why couldn't they have accused <em>me </em>instead? I would've gone along with it if I knew this would be what happened to me in the end."</p>
<p>"Why is that?"</p>
<p>"I can't do this by myself... I was never able to do anything without help from the others... But now they're gone and I'm more lonely now than ever..." </p>
<p>"But you're <em>not</em> alone. You've got three of your friends out there working with you. You wouldn't really consider that being lonely, right?" Makoto makes an attempt to reassure Shuichi by patting his knee and giving a soft smile, but it doesn't work.</p>
<p>"I guess not, but--" Shuichi hiccups, trying to stifle his sobs with a hand. "I-I just wish he was here, you know...?"</p>
<p><em>Who? </em>"Ah, are you talking about Kaito?" Makoto recalls.</p>
<p>Shuichi nods, his eyes welling up again. "Mm-hmm... If he saw me like this he'd probably punch me and give me a lecture on why I shouldn't be moping around when I could be working to help the others... but he's not here. And I might not even be able to see him again."</p>
<p>"Hey, it's just the same as with the others. He might be harder to convince considering everything that happened, but it's still possible. And you'll get to talk to him soon, too. That can be your motivator."</p>
<p>"What, speaking to him one last time?" Shuichi starts to say something else, but the glare from Makoto stops him.</p>
<p>"Look, all you need to do is worry about talking to everyone right now. <em>Then </em>you can worry about if and when they wake up."</p>
<p>"But what if they don't?"</p>
<p>"That's not our concern yet, okay? It also doesn't guarantee that someone else might wake up after you talk to them like Kaede did..."</p>
<p>"I guess so..."</p>
<p>"See?" Makoto stands. "Are you going to be ready to talk to Angie after this?"</p>
<p>"I guess... She's waited long enough already..."</p>
<p>"Okay! Let's go back."</p>
<p>"..."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was obvious to Shuichi by now that Makoto's only goal was to get everyone to wake up. And with how rushed all of their encounters are, maybe he was just oblivious to everyone's feelings or didn't care...? </p>
<p>Shuichi hopes it's the former.</p>
<hr/>
<p>When he walks back into the office, Shuichi is instantly greeted by a smothering hug from Kaede, who looks like she may have been crying not long before.</p>
<p>"Wh--!"</p>
<p>"Shuichi, I'm so sorry!" Kaede nearly yells after letting go of him. "I didn't know all of that happened... I'm sorry I asked about it and made you upset! Himiko and Maki told me everything."</p>
<p>He brushes himself off, looking at the other two. "It looks like they told you a little bit more than everything..."</p>
<p>"They did, I'm sorry." She admits. "But I prodded. It's not their fault, I just wanted to know... But now I think I can help you!"</p>
<p>"Really?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, they told me some things I didn't know about everyone else, so maybe I can be of some help if you need it! Next is Angie, right? You might have to do a lot of it, but I don't think it'll be too bad!"</p>
<p><em>At least someone is enthusiastic about this... </em>"Okay... Let's see if we can do it."</p>
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